My mother flushed our sea monkeys down the toilet while my brother and I were at school. Could she be arrested?

Evidently, some families have released goldfish to a Colorado lake and now we’re all paying the price of such illegal activity. Yup, goldfish are taking over. If you are a naturalist or any type of professional who can speak to such matters, now’s your time to get in front of the media.

If you’re a sea monkey, expert, just call me. I want to connect you to my mom. You can revisit the horrible choice she made to kill these pets when her children were at school. The nerve of parents! To this day, she’ll laugh and say they looked dead in the plastic aquarium. Maybe they were, but couldn’t we have given them a proper burial, just like Polly our canary? (Ugh, also a bad memory for me.)

Calling all pet experts. Obviously, your insights are not only needed with media, but with me to heal old wounds about allowing pets to pass with grace.  I actually saw a site once that turned your pets into stuffed artwork in your house. Humans are certainly a bit attached to how our pets are handled.

Near my home in the Smoky Mountains, 150,000 Rainbow Trout were killed over Easter weekend due to someone’s tampering of the water flow. WLOS TV reports it will take two years to regrow the fish now dead. It’s really sad for communities dependent on trout. Authorities are investigating. So many people don’t give a second thought to how fish hatcheries feed humans and now there is an unfortunate news tie-in for anglers, economists and other specialists who can speak about this topic.

Finally, what a relief! You can pee in the Amazon River without any worries. They’ve proven fish won’t swim up your hoohah if you pee in the Amazon river. (That’s the headline. It’s not even my own sentence.) As an outdoor enthusiast myself, I’ve always been taught to not pee in the natural bodies of water. I mean, what about the fish?! We have potties for that. But, if you must, now you can do so with peace of mind.

Now you can fish and pee in peace. So, now go fish for some media coverage.

By |2016-10-13T16:38:01+00:00April 8th, 2015|

About the Author:

Good Morning America Producer Mable Chan calls Michelle Tennant a “Five Star Publicist.” Tennant, a partner and executive publicist with Wasabi Publicity Inc., calls herself a “storyteller to the media.” Her passion is telling “truly good stories” and “exclusively representing people who make a positive difference in the world.” For 25+ years, media friends have solicited her help in crafting news stories by requesting sources, sound bites, and statistics. An award-winning writer, Michelle peppers campaigns with insight from her master’s degree in human development, BFA from a top 25 drama school, and expertise seeing PR transition from typewriters to Twitter. She’s either spinning stories or spinning at the gym. After hours, she savors the Smoky Mountains with her husband, Siberian Husky, and backyard chickens. Learn more about her work through her column at The Huffington Post. Check out the clients she's currently pitching at

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